back safely

so i am now home, sat in the kitchen by the computer gradually adjusting to the western world. but to be honest trying hard not to become too adjusted, as the lessons learnt and the experiences had were not for nothing, not to come back with the same attitudes as before. yes now there is hot water here, available food, clean streets but these are all things that i can continue to be grateful, or at least try to. in the west i am struck that we have so much, i opened my wardrobe for the first time and felt truly like a princess. why, where and how did i aquire or deserve all of these luxuries? my shoes are all arranged neatly in boxes, look almost brand new yet i know some of them have been there for years, the array of clothes neatly hung, no dust. i just sat and looked in awe.
as was preached in church last week material posessions are no bad thing, but its wise i'm thinking to keep grateful and not dependent on them. ive lived for months out of a small bag and had the time of my life (ok not THE time as i hope that there are many more good times to come!) so i'm not gonna stop wearing my clothes or start protests outside NEXT but i am going to try and preserve a grateful, thankful attitude towards things.
so what has changed? here not much, inside a lot. it was very wierd coming off the plane and seeing what has been my home for many years (ok not that many i am not ancient!) in a completely different way. everyone is white, everywhere is clean, the traffic is calm, green grass, no piles of rubbish, smart cars, the smell of roses in our garden, one strange thing that i was drawn to do was collect toilet paper whenever i saw it in public loos- in Kenya its a must to carry around a wadge in your pocket as holes in the ground dont come suppled with loo paper!had to catch myself from doing that!
then in the house, the size of the fridge, fresh coffee, a garden not shamba, SO MANY plates, cups etc where i have been used to one each, NO DUST, computer, SPACE. i kept wanting to take photos. as in the back of my mind i knew that it would not be for long that i saw all of this as odd. and i was right, now i just head for the computer in the morning, put on the kettle, eat from the fridge...
but what has changed? how has kenya changed me? how am i going to keep those positive changes and turn them into habit?

well one obvious change for my mother was that i strolled off the plane in a suit. so i know how to dress! another is that i have started cleaning, my Kenyan friends banged into my head that the daughter should dust clean etc. im not sure how long this will last but at the moment there is comfort in tasks such as that listening to my swahili grooves - so another change is the music that i listen to!
but more importantly i feel that i have grown as a person, developed into more of what i was inside, who i wanted to be yet only was sometimes.
i've seen my passion in life.
learnt to appreciate my upbringing - supportive parents both emotionally, spiritually, educationally financially - compared to some of my friends who's responsibility it was to put food on the table from a very early age.
i've learnt confidence in myself and my capabilities.
i know i CAN do 'it' whatever 'it' is if i set my mind to it.
i've learnt the value of today as well as working for a better tomorrow, as there are times when truly i did not know if there would be one.
i've learnt to live in comune. to love life. to make relationships with even the most unlikely of people and to talk to anyone.
iv learnt to cook more simply, live more simply in fact, to see that yes food is nice but its who you share it with that counts.
iv experienced overwhelming generosity from the poorest of people. iv learnt to dance to lingala to pray out loud.
to listen even when i disagree strongly.
to be appreciated in the workplace, to pull off the seemingly impossible.
to live on the edge. that parents love lasts across the oceans. that life belongs to god.
how welcomed one can be - now it is to me to do the same.
ive learnt about culture, had to change my attitude towards time, learnt to relax, i know how to skin a goat and pluck a duck, to work long hours for no pay.
how to dress knife wounds and how to cope when a friend gets taken into hospital, so support friends and in turn be supported.
that true friends are still there when you get back from it all, even if they find it hard, they still try to understand.
i'll never be the same, don't even want to be. as the experience i've had matches no other that i can speak of.

thank you for being faithful readers, for sharing in my comic escapades, supporting me through the challenges, praying when times got tough and for being there for my family.

now i'm to the task of getting ready for university, adjusting back to 'new' surroundings but at the same time want need to honour my experiences so am planning to write them down so that they can be shared. some things are too great to carry alone.

last post?

i am now writing what will perhaps be my last post from out here in kenya as im boarding my flight in only 3 days! tuesday just after 11pm is when im set to fly, my friends will all (ok as many as we can cram into the land cruised, the max is meant to be 14 but i think 18 might be ok!) accompany me to the airport in a red cross land cruiser, as we are volonteers and staff, if we fuel it and make the request (which we did long ago) we can take the vehicle! wich i am much looking forward to. then tomorrow they are organising me a "surprise" bash involving goat being roasted! it was to be a surprise but i saw the goat prancing around the compound and the beans were spilled! it should be a good event (of which l be sure to post photos when i am back to the land of internet in the house and fast computers)
so what have i been0 doing in my last week? i was on a desaster response training for a few days which was very enlightening, but other than that it has been packing, sorting, and spend ing the last time with many people. its sad but i have to remind myself that i am nod dying, i can always come back! there is internet and there is phone!
so what are the feelings? anticipation, fear, excitement, sadness, joy... ALL of them. its funny to think of leaving this all behind but i am ready, this is the start of a new chapter in my life which starts back in the UK. so until i see you in person,
love to you all,
Bee xxx

Gecomba

the BIGGEST market that i have seen in my life. the mother of all matumbas (second hand clothes markets)
was led to this masterpiece and marvel of geniousity when i was in Nairobi with winnie last week accompanying her to an interview.
i cannot believe that i am only discovering this lace now, when ever people come to visit me here it will be a top destination!
the place is amazing i kid you not - rows and rows of stalls - ie wooden constrictions or just piles of clothes stretching on for miles - the roves are plastic bags or wooden posts (don't go imagining some picturesque cottage in cornwal, it is very far from that!) overlap each other so it is as if you are going through a rabbit warren. there is no order at all, they are higldypigdly almost on top of eachother and people and animals are running in all directions.
there are hats, tops, coats, jeans, suits, trousers, dresses of ALL sizes and descriptions of very negotiabe prices. i gloat not (ok that is a lie) but a mango jacket for 2 pounds fifty! an evening dress for 7 pounds! where else i dont know.
then there is no chance to get hungry as th usual wheel barrows of pineapple, watermelons, bananas, mangoes and the sellers of sausages, yams, sweet potatoes and samosas are all close to hand.
this is not a place to go flashing your cash though, and not somewhere that i would dare to venture alone, no no! you watch your bag, keep it to hand and use the other to bat off the hawkers flying in all directions! one highlight was when we told one jeans seller that we were actually looking for dresses and he said 'oh yes i have those just here' then proceeded to lead us in a round about way turning so many directions for at least ten minutes till we were well and truly lost! African 'just here' is not parallel to the English one! THEN when we arrived there they were fit for old ladies! hehehe we did giggle.
managed to locate some mighty fine purchases though and left feeling well satisfied.

First Aid Comp (and how to give birth in a matatu)

so last weekend i went on a three day (so obv not just the weekend!) First Aid Training course under (low and behold what a surprise) the Red Cross. i have already done a fair bit of first aid what with working for the Red Cross as a volunteer and in PGH hospital for those gruesome months and also done the basics under the Girls Guides and Duke of Edinburgh award scheme but what with the certificate orientated world we now live in i thought it best to take up the opportunity to0 get another more official looking one. in fact the course was excellent. i learnt so much new information as well as refreshing the things that i already knew and it was great to be in a forum for discussion. the course was both theory and practical ranging from CPR to bites, to burns, to fire extinguisher use to emergency childbirth!
so in three days 8 till 5 i was able to both have fun and cram my brain with new skills, the firemans lift practical being one of my favorites! we also did emergency scene management: for example there is a scene where a car has collided with a truck leaving 5 casualties, one is unconscious, one is running around madly, another is burnt as the car has caught on fire, and the remaining two are screaming with limbs in awkward positions. what do you do? in these practicals we were taught the triage of cases, how to use bystanders, the 8 steps to first aid etc so that in real life we would know what to do. it was very fun and challenging.
then this yesterday it came into practice as we had the grassroots first aid competition hosted here in Nakuru next to our branch in a primary school. there was a seniors section and an out of school youths section each with around 10 teams from schools, colleges and businesses in the Nakuru area. i formed an impromptu team composing of (Kim, Charles and I as each team was to have three) that morning after my original team disbanded and we managed to come third place! pretty pleased with ourselves considering the fact that we hadn't practiced as a team prior to that day! imagine how good we could have been if we had!
the day was nerve wracking, we had to hand over our phones and stay in isolation until our teams turn came, then after we were aloud to stay and watch how the remaining teams reacted. the scene was a motorbike and a bicycle collision, there was an unconscious casualty (of course that is the one you are meant to address first), a casualty with a severe cut to the head and a third with suspected neck injury and an obvious leg fracture. we had seven minutes in which you are supposed to

1. call for help (introduce yourselves to the bystanders and call the emergency services correctly)
2. assess the scene for danger (you must not become the next casualty! ie get bystanders to stop traffic, move casualties away if there is a fire, move dangerous objects, contol the crowd)
3. assess the casualties (ABCs of life, assess the casualties in order of urgency ie dont go to the one that screams loudest first!)
4. arrest bleeding (correct use of bandages/improvisation)
   
5. support head and neck
   
6. secondary assessment (whole body, now also move to burns and breakages)
   
7. take history (AMPLES: allergies, medication, past experience in hospital, last meal, events leading up to scene, signs and signals)
   
8. transportation (correct method)

so there is alot to do! plus you are also being judged on your co-ordination, teamwork, delegation, use of materials (eg dont act without gloves), speed, use of bystanders, whether you vocalize your actions, handling of patients... and alot more as i dont want to bore you with EVERYTHING that we learnt on the course!
it was hard work! first aid is something that i am defiantly more confident in and want to keep improving my skills in now, leading up to the day we went to some schools giving refresher classes, something id be interested in offering my services in the future with, as what better way to keep in practice than to teach!
so fake blood and scenarios out of the way now its back out int the world to get doing the real thing!